The power of emotional healing
Bear with me because this last few days have been difficult, but they have encouraged me to think a abit more in depth about emotional healing and the role it plays in our mental health and life progression after traumatic events. I spent a good portion of years in the run up too and after my mothers death in 2012 believing that we played with the cards that life dealt us and that was it, We pushed it down and we moved on. I can admit now that I was hard faced, had a hard time letting anyone in and frankly was a bit of a twat. As a consequence my mental health suffered massively and I was chronically unwell for years. Carrying trauma is heavy, and it makes us harder, sharper with those around and honestly, it makes us more difficult to love - However unintentionally it may be through the behaviours we have adapted to protect ourselves, the walls we have built and our attitude towards life. I felt like life had wronged me so I had little regard for it and took little pleasure in what I did have.
When the snapping point came and I wanted to reclaim my life, my spark I wondered how it was possible to heal from trauma, yes some things are unchangeable - some life events, conditions, and circumstances but our reactions to them are the changeable factor. Mine were what was holding me frozen in fear, of moving forward into the unknown without the safety of my parents to guide me. The alternative was living a life in the past tinged with bitterness and anger.
We hold the key to our healing in our desire too feel better and grow, to set small changes in motion and pave a new path. Some of you who follow me on social media will see that my life has changed in the last 8 months - I'm taking better care of myself physically, training and eating well. Journaling, meditating and working on myself - I genuinely used to balk when people used that phrase " working on myself" but I'm here to tell you that its working, its a process and I have days that I don't feel capable but I have a wealth of skills now to deal with those days whereas the earlier ones my go to was to chuck a cup at a wall and make some questionable decisions.
I read a really interesting quote while reading up on emotional healing :
"If you never heal from what hurt you, then you’ll bleed on people who did not cut you"
Those around us know that we have suffered a trauma or significant event that we are healing from, and I am sure that like my own family and friends support has been given but can you hold up your hands and admit that you haven't crossed a line because of unresolved trauma? I know I have and the people around me did not deserve the way I have behaved at times. We are human and we rely on those around us but there is a line to the level of support and patience people can have if we aren't going to put the work in on ourselves. I was a carer for a long time for a family member who was unwilling, or unable to work on their own trauma and emotional issues and it is a huge drain on those closest. It is also incredibly frustrating, so I can relate in part to those on the other side.
I'm not in any way saying that emotional healing isn't hard, it is. But the benefits to your life afterwards, monumental ; Improved confidence and self esteem, resilience, improved relationships with others, ease of body tension and pain, improves digestion, sleep, headaches and allows us to approach life more positively.
More information on emotional healing and the reasoning behind along with the benefits here :
Some days I could describe healing as driving 200 miles with no advice from your Dad, noticing a beautiful view on a walk, feeling calm in conflict - Other days healing is getting out of bed and washing your face or not crying at that damn tv advert that gets you every time. But one thing I am sure of is that everyone can benefit from healing.
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