The motivation myth

Motivation - "Reasons for acting or behaving the way we in a particular way, the willingness and desire to do something"

I've been thinking a lot about motivation lately, my son has had some health struggles and his mental health particularly has taken a dip. The school environment doesn't really suit him but with his GCSES upcoming we are trying to manage the best we can and seek support.

I have had many conversations about his motivation, which given the MH crisis is lacking, and how to bring about a change in that, but I'm realising that motivation cant be forced. It comes to us because we want something badly enough to continue to do the necessary actions to get there. Our everyday life situation effects our motivation: our personality traits, personal circumstance, financial circumstances and health it is all interlinked.

My son has a few keen interests that he keeps up, he maintains the motivation even when his mood is low because they bring him joy and interest him. I fought this initially and tried to motivate him but to what end, he hates being there, struggles with the environment and it is detrimental to his mental health since that realisation I have spent a lot of time trying to get across the point to education facilitators that it is not simply a case of "cant be bothered" but rather having no desire too. I'm not saying we have to enjoy everything we do, because that's not achievable but for the most part we are motivated by something, the need for money motivates us to work. The need to nourish our bodies motivates us to get off the sofa and cook dinner.

My own motivation has taken a beating this last few weeks with a busy schedule and if I'm being totally honest a lot of procrastination and general mood dips. I know what I need to do to reach my goals but have little inclination or energy to do so because of tiredness and low mood.

Instead of this plunging me further into a spiral of hating myself for it, I've accepted that I'm not on form at the minute and I'm building back up to where I want to be by bringing back those little habits I had formed and finding small pockets of joy where I can.

I think I can kindly say to myself that I'm not unmotivated or lazy I'm just mentally drained right now.

I had a really good PT session Wednesday which admittedly i looked at beforehand and went "nope ,not today Satan" but it gave me a much needed boost to be able to achieve a lot more than initially i thought I would manage. These little wins then encourage me for the next time that i question myself or my willingness to become. I talk constantly on this blog about moods ebbing and flowing but I'm realising so does motivation, effected by a myriad of outside factors, and that's perfectly okay.

I guess in that sense I am still motivated, to bring myself back to a level I'm happy with and to practice enough self care to do so.