Coping Mechanisms

Things are pretty hectic at home at the minute, teens GCSES upcoming and ongoing health issues, partners job role due to change or cease to exist we aren't really sure yet, my own training going further but still searching for the ideal role alongside volunteering and studying. Life doesn't seem to get any calmer and sometimes I crave it, other times I realise that I am at my best when I am feeling productive. I had a conversation with my sister about this today where she mentioned the need to be busy and always have a project on the go, Her way of coping with grief and keeping her mind from dwelling. I've been doing some training this week and one really interesting thing that was discussed was coping mechanisms and the benefit of them. We all think that talking things through, keeping busy and having a focus are good things to help us through, and to a point I guess they are but when do they become a problem? Is it when they only divert our grief for short periods of time or is that enough for them to be considered successful.

Some coping mechanisms we can recognise could be damaging such as excessive alcohol consumption, but in those first dark weeks I know that I relied on that in order to sleep, which is the lesser of the two evils there.

I realised thinking about it that evening that I had thought about coping mechanisms as only being beneficial if they were positive. Getting outdoors, walking, having a set routine. But coping is just that, doing what we need to do to get through a difficult or uncertain period in our lives and our mechanisms to do so, although not ideal sometimes, are an important process.

It helped me to see a different perspective to my usual head down and carry on mentality, that those mechanisms although maybe not particularly healthy, are beneficial in the short term. I considered why I had been quite judgemental of the coping mechanisms of others in the past, and determined it can be down to personality, circumstance and upbringing. I had been taught, and I'm aware that im quoting the Beautiful South here, but carry on regardless.

Coping Mechanisms are a form of self care when things are tough, and for that purpose like any other self care they are necessary, as is recognising when they may become an issue.